Everyhting is Romantic

Enjoy romance in your life- not just with a partner.

Having a crush can truly be a one-of-a-kind, yet distasteful feeling that one can possess. It isn’t a feeling I experience often, but when I do, oh boy. The feeling started small; we would chat a lot and hang out often. But, soon enough, the friendly feeling turned into something more intimate. I ignored it at first, thinking that it was just a casual feeling amongst friends, but over time, the feeling only grew stronger. I hated it. I found myself wanting to look more presentable in case I saw them, finding reasons to want to see them, checking my phone constantly to see if they texted, and slowly losing the remaining sanity I thought I had. Unfortunately, a singular person led me into a spiral, but they made me reflect internally. What is love? Who gives love? Where can I find love in this world?

A few weeks ago, my suitemates and I were having a tough day grasping the weight of having a nasty crush on someone. As I said, this isn’t something we feel often, so you know it’s serious when everyone in the house is feeling the same thing at the same time. The feeling was painfully new and almost humiliating for us. We didn’t like the feeling of having to “chase” the person we were into. That just wasn’t us. It caused my girls and me to become utterly lost and conflicted since we were put into a position that reflected us doing so. Because of this, we decided to have a day together to soothe our minds. The day didn’t consist of much- hitting the bong, talking about our crushes, how to not lose our minds over them (I can’t give you any reliable tips because whatever we said flew out the window by the next day), listening to Lil’s playlist that can calmour souls, having a dance party (they truly are one of a kind), and ending it with doing tarot readings for each other. As I was enjoying the moments we were sharing, I found myself lost in thought. We got so caught up in the concept of having a crush, finding signs that it is reciprocated, and whether or not love could emerge from our connections that, for a second, we forgot that we already had it. In our home, with each other and my fur baby, Nala Maeve. This is a love haven. We radiate love in every possible, yet unique way in our own home. That is love.

Love is something that flows whether we appreciate it or not. Mad at someone dear to us? The love still doesn’t move after the fight. Mad at the world? I promise that she doesn’t care and still loves you anyway (unless you do something wild because you can’t run from Mother Nature, and she doesn’t play). I realized that love is something that is everywhere. Like a love witch, I know that love is fundamental to all living beings. For example, swans find one mate and choose to love them for the rest of their lifespan. We humans, find the people, whether romantic, platonic, or familial, that we choose to love for the rest of our lives. There is something so beautiful, yet petrifying, in knowing that this experience is inevitable. But isn’t it so beautiful that although this experience is inevitable, the people we decide to keep in our lives are up to us? We can’t choose who we love, but we can choose who stays.

Our generation claims that we only have three “real” loves in our lives. You have the first love that changes your entire life and view on love, the second love that is claimed that you love the hardest, and the last love that you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with, like a swan. I disagree. Everyone will love so many people throughout their beautiful and eventful lifetime. There is so much to experience in all forms of love that, even romantically, it is damn near impossible to have three “real” loves throughout your entire life. I have met individuals who stuck to this thought process and blindly missed different opportunities in love. If you want me to be real, it’s because they think their ex is their soulmate when they know that truly isn’t the case.

The media and society have made us think that we have to limit our love for the sake of others, and it was truly the worst thing to emerge from our generation. We are told that the feminine shouldn’t care and to pull back, because it is what pulls the masculine in. Or that “if they wanted to, they would” when in reality, the fear of rejection has plagued all of our mindsets. It isn’t a simple yes or no when being asked out; instead, you may turn into a social media meme or get gossiped about as you stroll the halls of your school. There is no gray area when it comes to the media and relationships; it is either all in or nothing at all. Posting about your situation can only add fuel to the fire as well. After posting about your situation, the comment section will do what it does best: make you feel worse for what you feel.

The loneliness epidemic has become so common that when an individual wants to pursue someone, they are either told the red flags or shamed into not taking action. This epidemic projects their fears and insecurities onto others and forces them to feel it too. Nonchalant wars, “hookup culture,” delivered games, the push and pull factor, TikTok reposts, situationships, etc., are all ways that society conforms to the idea of love through this loneliness epidemic. Does nobody want to go on real dates anymore? Have the ability for someone to show up at your door with flowers and a night planned? Take you to dinner where you guys bond and connect, get a bottle of wine when dinner is over and sneak away onto a rooftop to drink, giggle and soak up each other’s presence, then end the night off with a sweet treat while they walk you back home, fingers intertwined (and if they are lucky get a kiss to seal the night). Don’t you want to have the ability to actively pursue an individual without the fear of disloyalty, exes, and avoidant habits being a factor? It’s childish, really.

The dating pool in our generation has become such a disaster because the media consumes more of the relationship than the individuals actually pursuing it. I would rather pour the raw, real, and almost overbearing love that I have into the world, instead of onto someone who doesn’t know how to pursue their partner outside of social media, and probably doesn’t even know how to go on a real date. I don’t want to go to the movies, so you can try to put your hands in my pants when the movie is finally starting to get interesting, or sit in your parked car having a makeout session that probably isn’t even good, and breath most likely doesn’t smell the best either. Yuck. I know I deserve more than that. The world may be catastrophic at this current moment, but at least I know that if I find the beauty in it and love that beauty, it will find the beauty in me and love me just as hard.

It’s so easy to dilute love with romance that we forget that love is everywhere. It can be the worst day for you- classes were terrible, the weather isn’t nice, something about your look doesn’t feel right, and on top of that, your crush is acting weird. To make matters worse, while trying to make yourself feel better, you spot a couple blissfully in love. Innately, you either wish ill on them out of spite, or ball your eyes out because that should be you. But then you might go home to your roommates and feel the negative feelings slowly fizzle out the longer you are in their warm presence. Or you have an animal that greets you at your front door with eagerness, reminding you that your presence was missed. And if you don’t have either, you may go home, cry, take a long shower, and do some self-care before turning on your comfort show/movie that you end up falling asleep to. That is Love. The small moments are easy to forget, but they are daily reminders that love is everywhere. Always flowing, and always growing.

Like the popular Charli XCX song on TikTok says, “fall in love again and again”. Fall in love with the things that you do. Surround yourself with the people you love. Fall in love with the small, daily activities that you may overlook, but greatly appreciate. Don’t lose yourself in what could be, and focus on what is. The more love you put into the world, the more it comes back to you, leaving a cute red kiss stain on you. Buy yourself flowers, get your favorite snack, or do something to cater to yourself in the best way possible. The only way to have someone love you the way that you desire is if you can do it from within first. Be your own muse and showcase the love you desire onto yourself. Self-love is the key to the world. Plus, everything is romantic.